


A Question of Luck

by kunimi



Series: world domination begins in a ramen shop [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Gen, listen; this isnt even funny LOL
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-08 11:17:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18622258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimi/pseuds/kunimi
Summary: Kunimi gets ambushed by his upperclassmen on his day off.





	A Question of Luck

**I. Just a Question of Luck**

Kunimi had never considered himself unlucky. People did, though. These same people said a lot of things. He thought that surely, they had better things to do rather than calling him lazy or unmotivated but no, the best thing they had to do _was_ call him lazy and unmotivated.

Really, how stupid was that?

In the first place, Kunimi wasn't lazy, but rather more efficient with energy use. He wasn't unmotivated either, just lacking enthusiasm. There was a difference.

_Now,_ back to the actual matter, AKA his luck, Kunimi believed that he was just as lucky as any average person on the street. Or maybe just _slightly_ below average. But no big difference. Really, just enough that he didn't have to rely on luck to get through a day unscathed.

So when he spotted the third years of his volleyball club hanging nearby on a day off, Kunimi simply attributed the incident to the result of a series of unfortunate coincidences. His luck had nothing to do with this. He only had to hope that they wouldn't spot him and his day would wind up just as uneventful as it should be.

“Oh? Is that Kunimi-chan I see over there?” Maybe if he pretended not to hear or see anything, he could still salvage the rest of his day and avoid interacting with more people than necessary. “Am I right? I'm right, aren't I? Yoo hoo, Kunimi-chan!”

Only a few moments more of ignoring and they would forget about his presence. If Kindaichi had been here with him, he would've been less eager to skip them as his friend would do most of the talking, but today was no such day. Unfortunately, this time, he was alone.

And unfortunately again, he can evade the captain, but not the unofficial couple. “Kunimi, you weren't just trying to avoid us right now, were you?”

Kunimi glanced to the side, avoiding his upperclassmen's eyes as both of them grasped his shoulders. “It's nice to see you, Matsukawa-senpai, Hanamaki-senpai.”

“See, Matsukawa, there is no way that our favourite kouhai would ever ignore us both,” Hanamaki grinned, then gestured to the two other third years. “Iwaizumi, Oikawa, get your asses over here already.”

“Geh, Makki, watch your language in front of the children,” Oikawa hissed at him as he and Iwaizumi made their way over.

Iwaizumi furrowed his eyebrows. “What children?”

Oikawa pointed at Kunimi. Matsukawa pointed at Kunimi. Hanamaki pointed at Kunimi.

Kunimi pointed at himself. “Me?”

His pink-haired upperclassman patted his shoulder as his other hand went to cover his mouth. “Sorry, Kunimi, I should’ve known better than to use foul language in front of you.” Kunimi stared blankly as Hanamaki turned to fall into Matsukawa’s open arms. “What will I do now if Kunimi turns out to be a delinquent? How could I do this to our son?”

“Senpai, we’re only two years apart,” Kunimi pointed out dryly, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears as Matsukawa held Hanamaki, pretending to contain his tears. Kunimi had no words.

Oikawa was a little bit _too_ eager to play along. “You had _one_ job, Makki! Do you really expect me to marry off my son to yours, now that he’s turned into a delinquent?”

Hanamaki gasped in shock, then fell at his feet. “Please! Don’t call off the marriage, how else will our business survive? And the kids! You can’t separate Kindaichi and Kunimi!”

Kunimi _really_ had no words. But Iwaizumi definitely had some. To be specific, three words.

“What. The. Fuck.”

Kunimi agreed. Meanwhile, the three other third years collectively let out a horrified gasp (although Kunimi wasn’t sure if they were faking or not) before Hanamaki put his hands over the first year’s ears, as if it could undo the damage. It wouldn’t. And it didn’t stop him from hearing everything, albeit a little muffled.

Matsukawa pointed his finger at Oikawa. “And you blame _us_ for being terrible parents when you can’t keep your own husband in check?”

“I’m not—”

“Shut the fuck up, Iwaizumi,” Hanamaki said.

“I hate to say this, but yeah, you’ll only make everything worse,” Matsukawa agreed. Iwaizumi threw his arms in the air in defeat, looking exasperated by how the situation turned out. Kunimi understood his sentiment very well.

“I'll remind you that _your_ son is the one who’s marrying into _my_ family,” Oikawa argued, a little _too_ into his role as he lifted his chin haughtily. “I can easily find Kindaichi another potential spouse, thank you very much. The same can't be said for you guys, unfortunately.”

“Jesus Christ,” Iwaizumi said.

Kunimi nodded, slapping Hanamaki’s hands away from him. “Same. Can I go home now?”

Thankfully, Oikawa had dropped his role of evil soon-to-be mother-in-law (and hopefully wouldn't go back to it) and was now looking positively appalled at Kunimi’s words. “How could you say that, Kunimi-chan?! On this rare day where you get to be blessed by my presence when you usually wouldn't be, you _still_ try to run away from me?”

“To be honest, I would too,” Matsukawa shrugged, a lopsided smirk on his face.

“Seconded,” Hanamaki chimed in. And then all third years minus Iwaizumi turned to stare at Iwaizumi expectantly. Kunimi stared as well, wondering if they had practiced to turn their heads in sync, because there was definitely no way they did not.

Or maybe they really _didn't,_ but that wasn't the answer anyone was looking for right now.

“I live next door to him,” Iwaizumi stated, shattering all their expectations. Hanamaki let himself fall dramatically into Matsukawa’s arms. “But—it doesn't make sense to say ‘I third that,’ does it?”

Oikawa’s jaw dropped. Kunimi stepped back as Matsukawa dropped Hanamaki, both too busy clutching their stomach in laughter. Even Iwaizumi cracked a grin at Oikawa’s shock.

“I can't believe this. I came here for a good time, and I'm getting so attacked right now,” Oikawa blinked repeatedly in disbelief. “What is this _betrayal_?”

“You’ve got to be on the same side to be betrayed.”

“Kudos to that.”

“I can't _believe_ you guys would do me like this.”

Hanamaki grimaced. “Only Iwaizumi would do you, actually.”

Iwaizumi gaped. Oikawa shut his mouth with an audible click. Matsukawa was starting to run out of air. Kunimi pulled out his phone and started texting.

_**kunimi:** Please save me._

“Now then.” Oikawa coughed, just to dispel the awkward mood. His upperclassman swung an arm around Kunimi’s shoulders, much to his displeasure. “How about we go for a team meal? Ramen?”

“You’re paying,” Kunimi grumbled. The others nodded their approval.

His captain narrowed his eyes. “And just for _that_ , you’re not getting any ramen today, Kunimi-chan! Now, let’s go!”

And so, Kunimi was dragged along his upperclassmen to their usual ramen place.

So much for an average amount of luck.

Meanwhile, his phone buzzed non-stop with messages.

_**kindaichi:** kunimi??_

_**kindaichi:** what’s going on_

_**kindaichi:** wdym save u, do i need to call the police or smth_

_**kindaichi:** kunimi?_

_**kindaichi:** KUNIMI????_

**Author's Note:**

> forces myself out of bed to post this. i'm going back to nap now
> 
> bless u [MajesticAnna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajesticAnna) for beta-ing this trainwreck.
> 
> tumblr | [@typowritings](https://typowritings.tumblr.com/)


End file.
